Have. Feel. Move.

Divorce can be tough, but a high conflict divorce? That’s a whole different level of stress. If your parents are constantly arguing, dragging you into their fights, or making you feel like you have to pick a side, you’re not alone. This workbook is here to help you understand your emotions, process them, and learn how to keep moving forward.

You don’t have to stay stuck in the middle of their conflict.

This is your space to explore what you’re feeling, without judgment. Let’s dive in.

1. Understanding your emotions

What Happens When You Bottle Up Your Feelings?

Think about a soda can. If you shake it up and don’t open it, all that pressure just builds inside. If you shake it too much and open it suddenly—BOOM, soda everywhere. That’s kind of how emotions work. If you don’t deal with them, they can explode at the worst times.

Let’s identify some of the emotions you might be feeling because of your parents’ divorce:

☐ Anger – “Why can’t they just get along?”

☐ Sadness – “I miss how things used to be.”

☐ Anxiety – “What’s going to happen next?”

☐ Guilt – “Is this somehow my fault?”

☐ Frustration – “I’m so tired of all this drama.”

☐ Confusion – “I don’t know who to believe.”

Take a moment and think of the emotions that fit you best. Add any that aren’t listed.

2. Feeling your feelings

Why It’s Okay to Feel Everything

A lot of people tell you to "just get over it." But ignoring your emotions doesn’t make them go away—it just makes them louder.

Example: Imagine your best friend ghosts you. If you pretend like you don’t care, does it actually help? Probably not. The only way to move on is to actually FEEL the hurt, disappointment, or anger.

Here’s your challenge: The next time you feel a big emotion coming, don’t shut it down. Instead, take a few minutes to sit with it. Write about it, scream into a pillow, go for a run—whatever helps you process it.

3. Dealing with triggers

A trigger is something that instantly makes you feel upset or stressed.

Example: Maybe your dad bad-mouths your mom, and it makes you feel trapped. Maybe your mom gets mad at you for spending time with your dad, and it makes you feel guilty.

Write down 3-5 things that trigger you the most.

Now, write one way you could react differently next time:

“Instead of yelling back when my dad talks bad about my mom, I can leave the room.”

4. Boundaries: Your personal bubble

Think of boundaries like a personal bubble. You get to decide who comes in and who stays out. If your parents try to pull you into their arguments, you have the right to say, “I don’t want to be involved in this.”

Write down three boundaries you want to set with your parents.

5. The two-minute tango

This is a simple, powerful way to move through emotions. It might feel silly at first, but trust me—it works!

Here’s how to do it:

1. Set a timer for 2 minutes. (the timer on our phone works)

2. Every 24 seconds do one of the following:

• Yawn (even if it’s fake, it helps relax your body)

• Scream (into a pillow if needed)

• Laugh (force it—it’ll start feeling real!)

• Cry (even if you don’t feel like it, try!)

• Shake it out (jump around like you’re at a concert)

Try it now!

Afterward, write down how you felt:

“I felt _______ before, and now I feel _______.”

6. Moving forward

You’ve learned how to HAVE emotions, FEEL them, and MOVE them. Now what?

• Find a safe outlet – sports, art, journaling, music—something just for you.

• Talk to someone – a friend, therapist, or trusted adult.

• Remind yourself – Your parents’ problems are not yours to solve.