Talking to your parents can feel tricky, especially when they are going through a divorce. Maybe you feel like they don’t listen, or they don’t understand how you feel.

Good news: You can learn how to talk to them in a way that helps them listen.

This workbook will help you say what you need, ask for help, and share your feelings in a way that keeps things calm and clear.

Let’s begin!

1. Before you talk: What do you want to say?

Before you start talking, ask yourself:

What do I need from this conversation?
Do I want to ask for something?
Do I want to tell them how I feel?
Do I just need a hug?

Write or draw three things you have wanted to tell your parents:

1. ____________________________

2. ____________________________

3. ____________________________

Now, let’s practice saying it in a way they will understand!

2. When and how to talk to your parents

Not every time is the best time to talk. If your parents are busy, mad, or upset, they might not listen very well.

Best times to talk:

✅ When they are happy or relaxed

✅ When they are not in a hurry

✅ When you are feeling calm

Not-so-great times:

❌ When they are on the phone

❌ When they are arguing

❌ When you are really upset

If talking is hard, writing a note or drawing a picture can help!

3. Talking in a way that helps parents listen

🚀 Try this:

Use a kind voice
Keep it short and simple
Look at them when you talk
Say what you need, not just what’s wrong
Use “I” statements (ex: “I feel sad when…”)

⚠️ Try not to do this:

Yell or cry too much
Say mean things (“You never listen!”)
Talk when they are busy
Say “You always” or “You never”

4. When you need to write a note

If talking feels too hard, writing a note can be a great way to share how you feel.

How to write a good note:

1. Start with what you need – “Can I ask you something?”

2. Say what’s on your mind – Keep it simple.

3. Be kind – Even if you are upset!

4. Ask a question if you need an answer – “Can you let me know by tomorrow?”

Example notes:

❌ Not the Best: “You never listen to me!”

✅ Better: “Hi Mom, can we talk later about my soccer game?”

Now, write a note to your parent about something you need:

Hi [Mom/Dad], I want to talk about ________________.

Can we find a time?

5. What to do when parents get mad

Sometimes, even if you say things the right way, your parents might still get upset. That’s not your fault!

What to Do If They Get Mad:

Stay calm and don’t yell back.
If they ignore you, try again later.
If they blame you, remember it’s not your fault.
If they start arguing, say, **“Let’s talk later when we’re calm.”**

6. Practice makes it easier!

Now, let’s practice what you’ve learned. Think of something you need to ask or tell one of your parents. Plan what you’ll say or write.

What do you need to talk about?
How will you say it? (Write or draw it out!)
After you try it, write down how it went. Did they listen? Did you stay calm? What can you do next time?

7. Final thoughts

Talking to parents during a divorce can be hard, but you CAN do it! Just remember:

You deserve to be heard.
Stay calm and kind.
If they don’t listen the first time, try again later.

You are strong and important! Keep talking, sharing, and being YOU!

Talk, share, listen, be heard