Decide
Making changes when things feel hard.
Sometimes, making choices can feel really tricky — especially when people around you don’t agree. Maybe your parents are divorced and keep asking you to choose between them, or maybe you feel like no matter what you do, someone will be upset.
Good news: You don’t have to fix everything! This guide will help you make choices in a way that feels good for YOU.
Why making choices feels hard
When things get confusing, you might feel:
Worried – What if I make the wrong choice?
Sad – I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Stuck – I don’t know what to do!
Frustrated – It feels like no answer is the right one.
It’s okay to feel this way. But remember—YOU get to decide what feels right for you.
Step 1: Think about what you need
Sometimes we forget to think about what we actually want. Ask yourself:
What makes me happy?
What feels fair to me?
What will help me feel safe and okay?
Your feelings are important, and it’s okay to think about what YOU need.
Step 2: Say what you need
Sometimes people (even grown-ups) don’t know how you feel unless you tell them. Here’s how you can speak up:
If someone asks you to pick sides, say: “I love you both, but I don’t want to choose.”
If someone is arguing, say: “I don’t like when people fight. Can we take a break?”
If you need help, say: “I’m feeling confused. Can we talk about this later?”
You don’t have to fix their problems—you just have to take care of yourself.
Step 3: Stay calm and take your time
Sometimes we feel like we have to decide RIGHT NOW. But you can take a deep breath and give yourself time.
Pause – Count to 10 or take a deep breath.
Think – What choice feels best for me?
Talk – If you need help, ask someone you trust.
You don’t have to rush. It’s okay to take your time.
Step 4: Focus on what helps, not what hurts
Sometimes people focus on arguing instead of fixing things. But you can make choices that help, like:
Instead of arguing, say: “How can we make this work?”
Instead of feeling stuck, ask: “What are my choices?”
Instead of feeling bad, remind yourself: “I am doing my best.”
Focusing on what helps makes choices easier.
Step 5: You don’t have to make everyone happy
Sometimes, no matter what choice you make, someone won’t like it. That’s okay! You can’t control other people’s feelings—only your own.
If you made a choice that feels right, be proud of yourself.
If someone is upset, remember: That’s their feeling to work through, not yours.
If you feel unsure, remind yourself why you made the choice.
You don’t have to make everyone happy—you just have to do what’s right for you.
Final Thought: You are amazing
Making choices can be hard, but you are strong and smart. Take your time, trust yourself, and remember: You are important, and your feelings matter.
You’ve got this!
